外教微课是为大家推出的系列网络外教课程。每集配备一个10分钟左右的视频，常听多看，锻炼口语听力，提升语言能力。Are you writing essays and getting the same score over and over again? Would you like to learn some techniques you can use to improve your writing and get a better score on the IELTS or TOEFL? Well, in this lesson, I will teach you five common errors that many students make that can lower their score.
After watching this lesson, you will know what to avoid, what to include, and why trying too hard might actually be hurting your score.
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?width=500&height=375&auto=0&vid=p0646qvfp3n
TRANSCRIPT
Hi. Welcome again to www.engvid.com. I'm Adam. Today's lesson, we're looking at IELTS and TOEFL, the writing section, and we're going to look at the five most common mistakes that I see when I'm checking students' essays. Okay? Now, as usual, for the IELTS and TOEFL lesson, I will speak a little bit more natural speed, a little bit faster than usual. If you're a beginner, don't worry. Watch the video, listen, practice your listening. Get the vocabulary you need. It's all... It's good for everybody, but just a little bit harder. Okay?
So, now, where do I begin? I check a lot of essays. Okay? People send me their essays, I check them, I edit them, I tell them what they're doing wrong, and I've come to the realization that there are certain mistakes that many, many people make. So, I want to tell you five of these common mistakes so that you can avoid making them. Okay?
And the first one-and this is the most common mistake that I see-is that you are trying too hard. Now, what does this mean? Trying hard is a good thing, right? Yes, it is. But you're trying too hard to sound impressive. Okay? You're trying to impress the graders of these... Of these exams, IELTS and TOEFL, you think that by using big words or lots of idioms, or very, very long sentences that are very complex and have many clauses that you're getting a higher score. In fact, most of the times, you're actually hurting yourselves. Why? Because you're using words incorrectly, you're using them inappropriately, meaning in the wrong context or the wrong usage or in the wrong parts of speech; you're using a verb when you should use a noun, etc. When you write very, very long sentences, quite often, you have run-on sentences, mean... Meaning you have two independent clauses in one sentence, and no punctuation, and no conjunctions, and then the whole sentence falls apart and means nothing. And also, a lot of people use idioms because... Yeah, idioms will get you extra points, but they're using them incorrectly or in the wrong context. Again, make sure you know the words you're using, make sure you know the idioms you're using, and shorter sentences can actually be better. Simple is often better than complex. If you think about... As an analogy, if you think about cooking, the more spices you put into the dish, the less you taste the actual meat or the actual core of the dish. Simple is best.
Let me give you an example. Here are two sentences. Okay? Let me read them to you. "The CEO", Chief Executive Officer, like the head of the company... "The CEO's tenure at the company was abbreviated due to his reluctance to integrate more females into upper managerial posts, thereby drawing the ire of the Board who consequently relieved him of his duties." Now, this sentence is perfectly okay. It's grammatically correct, all the words are being used correctly, but if you can write a sentence like this the way that I wrote it here, then you don't need to worry about the IELTS or the TOEFL; your English is obviously very high level. If you can do this, then this test will be very easy for you.
However, a lot of people, a lot of test-takers try to write this sentence, and then they end up making many, many mistakes. They don't use this word correctly: "abbreviated", they say: "abbreviation". Okay? That's the more common thing of it. "Abbreviated" means made shorter. Okay? "Reluctance", hesitance, like not really wanting to. This word: "ire". I write all the time, I write for a living. I never use this word "ire", because it's so old-fashioned. And also, it's a small word. Right? So you don't need many syllables, you don't need very rare words. You need to be simple, you need to get your message across. The most important part of the test is: Answer the question. They give you a task, answer it. Answer it clearly, concisely. Means: Use fewer words, not more words. If you can say the same thing in fewer words, get the message across, make it clear, make the reader interested, then you'll get higher points than if you write something like this. Okay?
Let's look at this sentence: "The CEO's time was cut short because he wouldn't promote women to top positions, which angered the Board who then fired him." Okay, look at the two sentences. This sentence means exactly the same thing as this sentence. Much shorter, much simpler words, much more direct delivery of the message. Now, "tenure", "time", same thing. Tenure's a nice word, but if you're not going to use it correctly, then you're going to lose points; not gain points. Better to write "time", and get the message across, than to write "tenure" and use a word incorrectly, which means you don't actually know it, and you make the whole sentence confusing to the reader. So you're actually doing two bad things. We call this a "double-whammy", in case you need extra expressions. A double-whammy means you're hurting yourself twice. Okay? So don't do that. "Ire", just say "angered". Now, if you can use the word "angered", this is a high-end word. Now, you're thinking: "Angry? 'Angry' is not a high-end word." Yes, but I didn't say "angry". I said "angered". If you could show the graders that you know this word so well that you know how to use it as a verb... Because most people don't. Most people only know "angry" or "anger", the noun. Very few people use this word as a verb. Use this word as a verb, and you have your high-end vocabulary, you get your extra points. Use "ire" incorrectly and you're actually losing points.
Okay? Same idea, fewer words, simple words, the message is clear and to the point. Now, for some reason people love this idiom: "a double-edged sword". Everything is a double-edged sword. The problem with a double-edged sword is that there's two sides to it, and most people don't realize that. Right? If you're going to use an idiom, make sure you're using it correctly. So, this idiom, "a double-edged sword" means that something, or a situation, or an action has both a positive side and a negative side. So if you're going to use this idiom, you better explain to the reader: What is the positive, what is the negative? Okay? So, this sentence is a double-edged sword. If you can write it like this, then yeah, you're getting a bonus point. But on the other side of it, if you write... If you make any mistakes in it, you're losing points. So be very careful with vocabulary, extra words that you don't need, and idioms.
Now, another thing: Long, complicated sentences. They don't need to be. Remember I said they're run-on sentences? Now, another thing you have to worry about is redundancy. This is a big word, but I'll write it here. If something is redundant, it means it's unnecessary. "The CEO's tenure at the company", now, here you noticed I put "at the company". Here... Here, I didn't put "the company". Why? A CEO is a head of a company, it's understood that the time at the company. I don't actually need to say it. If you can use three words to say something, don't use five. If you can use five, don't use . Less is more, just like when you're putting on makeup. Another analogy, there, for you. Okay? So, this is the most common mistake. Let's look at a few more. Okay, so now we're a little bit busy, here, but I'll squeeze everything into one shot so it's much easier for you. What I'm going to do, I'm going to begin by looking at a very classic task, either IELTS or TOEFL will give it to you. "Parents make the best teachers." Do you agree or disagree? Okay. You had your introduction, we're talking about parents, we're talking about education, we're talking about children. Some people believe that parents are the best, some people believe teachers are the best. I think that... I agree that parents are the best teachers.
Okay, your introduction's done. Let's get into the first body paragraph. So, first, I'm going to read this to you. This is not a complete paragraph, but you'll get the idea. "Firstly, parents know their child best, including what he likes and doesn't like, such as books he likes to read, or favourite science topics. Parents can also talk to the child's teachers and find out from them how to help him at home. They can also monitor how much TV he watches, and cutting down on this might help his concentration." And on and on. Okay? I didn't give you the full paragraph. Not necessary; you'll understand what I'm getting at. So, common mistake number two: No topic sentence. If you look at this example, I don't know what this paragraph is about. Right? A topic sentence is your introduction sentence to the paragraph. It's very important to remember that one paragraph has one central idea. Okay? This central idea must be presented right at the beginning of the paragraph so the reader knows what to expect. So, in this sentence, we're talking about parents know their child, they know what he likes and what he doesn't like, they know what books he likes, they know what science topics he likes.
What is this paragraph about? Is it about books? Is it about choosing his books or choosing his science topics? Is it about parents know their child? Is it about what he likes, what he doesn't like? I'm assuming that it's: Parents know their child best. Okay? So it's about the parents' knowledge of the child. That is what this paragraph is about. That is why they are the best teachers, because they know their child. Put a period here, and then start with your reasons. This is your topic sentence. This is what the paragraph is about. Stop, start giving me your support; start elaborating on this key point, and giving me the details, reasons, examples, etc. Too many ideas. So, this basically goes in line with the topic... No topic sentence. So then, okay, they know what he likes, what he doesn't like, his books, etc. They can also talk to the child's teachers and find out how they can help him. Okay, that's another way they can do. So, teachers have nobody to ask. Or maybe they have the parents. Who knows? So, parents know their child best, parents can talk to the child's teachers, they can find... They can monitor how much TV he watches, so they can... This is something else they can do. Doesn't have anything to do with what he likes or doesn't like. They can concen-... They can help his concentration by cutting down on TV.
Too many ideas, here. Now, too many ideas is not a bad thing if each idea is expanded on, you elaborate, you explain why this is important, and you have to connect. Right? Every sentence must flow in terms of ideas, logically, from one idea to the next. So, here, this... This sentence and this sentence really have no connection. Here, we're talking about what he likes; here about what they can do with their teachers. Two completely separate ideas, not connected by anything. Okay? Next, they can talk about TV. They can cut down on TV. Okay. What does that have to do with talking to the child's teachers? Nothing. Again, no connection. Different idea. So the reader is going: "Umm, what are you trying to do here? Like, what...? What is the purpose of this essay? What is the purpose of this paragraph?" The point is you're trying to support your idea, why you think parents are the best teacher. Don't just throw in ideas.
Which brings us to point number four: Good point... So, you're making good points. There's nothing wrong with the ideas, here; they're actually quite good, quite strong in terms of supporting your opinion. But then you don't give me any examples. Okay? For example, if you're talking about books, this is like already the second sentence, you're talking about what books he likes, what science he likes... For example, if a child likes dinosaurs, the parents can then go buy him a dinosaur set, a model set, or books about dinosaurs, or they can take him to the museum to see... The Natural History Museum to see how dinosaurs evolved, and died, and etc. Or if you're talking about TV, well, what's wrong with TV? TV can be very educational. But for your purpose, you want to give the example. If the child is watching too many cartoons or is watching violent movies, he's not going to be able to concentrate on his math homework. Right? Or if his imagination is getting carried away, how's he going to concentrate on his science lessons?
So, give me the points, yes, make sure that you give me concrete examples. "Concrete" meaning give me a real thing, something I can actually hold onto. The dinosaur set, concrete example. Cartoons on TV, concrete examples. Okay? Make sure you support your reasons with examples. Make sure you support your argument with reasons. Everything has to be connected. Better to take only one or two of these ideas, expand on them, and give me examples to support them to make them stronger. Okay? So, this is the general idea about the paragraphs in body one, body two. Same thing for body two. You're going to a new topic, introduce it with a topic, make sure you have the transition between paragraph, body paragraph one and two, topic sentence, reason you think so, example, maybe another point, go on to your conclusion.
Now, this one, the last one. This is actually a bit of a pet peeve. I'll explain this expression. A "pet peeve" is something that you find really annoying. Right? Something that happens all the time, and it really bothers you. So I've had many students, and I've explained to them this point-I'm going to explain to you in a second-and I say: "Don't do this." And then their next essay, they do it again; and then their next essay, they do it again. Like, you say: "Don't do it, don't do it", and they do it, and they do it. So, what is the problem? Once you have your opinion, once you've decided agree or disagree, say so once. Okay? Use this pronoun: "I agree", "I think", "I believe", "In my opinion" one time in the entire essay.
Do not say: "I think" two, three, four times. Don't say it twice in the introduction, and then again in the conclusion. Say it one time in the introduction if that's where your thesis is - that's it, you're done. Don't use the word: "I", "my", "me", "mine" any more in your essay. The only time you can repeat the personal pronoun is if you have a very personal task question. Would you prefer to live in the city or the country?
Okay, in that case, you can use "I", or "me", or "my" a few times, but even then, you don't need to, so don't. One time, give me your opinion, that's it; don't give me any more. Now, what happens is I see quite often in the introduction, I see people say: "I think that A, B, C, which is why I believe C, D, E, F." Whatever. Well, what is your thesis? Is it the first one or the second one? Right? Usually it will be a bit clear what you're trying to say, but the fact that you say two opinions makes your thesis weak, because I'm not sure. You're not taking a very firm stance. If you think A, B, C, which is why you believe D, E, F - well, you only think A, B, C, which is not a very strong support for D, E, F or believing D, E, F. Have one firm expression: "I think" something, done. Support it the rest of the essay. In the conclusion, you can restate that opinion, but you don't have to say: "That is why I think", "In conclusion, I think this because that". No. "In conclusion, parents make the best teachers for several reasons, including knowledge of their child and" whatever your second body paragraph was. I don't know. Everybody has different ideas. One time in the whole essay, that's it. So, these are the five common mistakes people make. Try to avoid them. Your score will go up right away, I can promise you that. If you have any questions, come to www.engvid.com, you can ask me questions in the forum. I will put a quiz to make sure you understand the key concepts, here. If you need extra help, please visit my site, www.writetotop.com, I have a lot of useful tips for writing there as well; subscribe to my YouTube channel; and come back soon. I'll see you then. Bye.
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